I recently answered a question that kind of took me by surprise. I wasn’t too sure how I was going to respond, I think that this is something that others do not take into account when structuring their lives. This expresses my honest opinion on why being yourself is the best thing possible for yourself and for those around you.

My response is below:

Hi there,

To answer your question, YES I do think that finding out who you are is very much more important than having false stability.

Having to know who you provide that stable foundation that someone would need to become more secure in themselves and with those around them. Sacrificing your individuality as much a personal choice of whether or not you want to have a “pack” mentality. Follow and never know how to lead.

For me, I did have this decision to make and earlier in my life than when I would have expected. However, I do think some just don’t have it in them to face themselves, who they really are. Taking a look at themselves instead of those around them for approval and what do to next with their life. I do not want the instability of someone telling me what to do, well NO. I have a brain on my shoulders that has benefited me this far in my life, why should I NOT think about what I want?

Be yourself and be stable with yourself before engaging with another. Eventually, that false sense of stability will come crumbling down and you will not have anything to fall back on, not even yourself. Who at the end of the day do you have to rely on? Not your spouse ( if you have one ), because that relationship was fake from the beginning as well as she left you. Forced to move back to your parents place a divorcee, feeling down on your luck. Only then after a few years, if you have enough sense in your brain, will you BREAK out of this conformity that you have been subjected to and then start building upon yourself as a person. Not as the person that others have wanted you to become.

This was something that I have had to learn the hard way over the years. Will I give up myself to be apart of the bigger picture? No, I have not ever felt the need to go along with the “crowd”. For the most part, most people bore me and one of my only sources of entertainment is myself and my spouse. In this, I have found comfort within myself first before seeking it out within another.

This may sound a little selfish, think about yourself first and eventually, you may find that you aren’t thinking about yourself at all. Instead just those around you. Once you are taken care of, then you care for those around you.

Thank you.


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